When I’m in a relationship, I stop being “unnecessarily close” to any other lady (family aside).
My attention, my focus, and my concentration is on one person – my partner.
I relate very well with everybody, but I am very emotionally sensitive.
Thank God for emotional intelligence; I politely set a boundary for people who seem to be getting too close to me, to ward off any possible “danger”.
All those constant and frequent calls, messages, chats, “checking on” people (you know what I mean na; yes, that checking on that fine girl or fine boy, that person you find attractive and valuable…ehen!), etc.
I’m not asking you to stop checking on people oh! But, use your emotional intelligence to know when it is not necessary and/or when it is going too far.
Sometimes people have an agenda, sometimes they don’t; it could start innocently and morph into something else.
Because, continually and persistently giving a person your attention and time would always lead to either or both of you being too comfortable that you start lowering your guard, become vulnerable, and boom! Feelings gradually start to creep in.
It is natural, you can’t always be too smart for it.
NOTE: If you are in a relationship or you are married, there should be no room for unnecessary constant and frequent checking on somebody else, unless your siblings, parents, and blood relatives (where necessary).
Channel that energy to your partner/spouse.
FOR EXAMPLE:
• He is offering you a ride, because he is a nice man who doesn’t want to see “a beautiful lady walking or standing in the scorching sun”
Tell him: “No, thank you!” If he insists, firmly tell him you’re not interested. Enjoy that sun, it is not forever. Trust me, there is a seed of interest in his heart. Unless he is somebody you and your husband know very well; your church member, colleague, husband’s friend, a friend, etc.
In this case, follow your intuition and be careful!
• She is making you uncomfortable (you know what I mean, she is very fine or seem to be your ideal spec or whatever you want to call it) and she seems to like you more than normal?
Politely compliment her, then clearly let her know that you belong to someone else.
• They are spending too much time with you in the office, church, etc. Always having things to say to make your time together fun and interesting…they seem to be having too much of your attention; please, tell them you don’t want it to continue. Be clear and firm, be sure of your decision, and let them know you are serious.
• He wants to take you out for lunch or dinner, even if it is breakfast, and you are married or in a relationship; my dear sister or hanty, please run! Say “no” politely but firmly.
They are even buying you flowers and sending you unusual gifts and you are smiling! Ah! Friendly text messages that make you smile, blush, and laugh out loud…it has happened! Of course x your partner/spouse does not know. You’re in an emotional affair and you’re cheating emotionally, already.
Oh, you did not know? Now you know.
• Then, those ones who think they must have everybody’s number. Please, don’t give them!
Don’t give your number(s) out or anything that can be used to contact you to a stranger or a random “nice/good man or woman”, especially when you’re in a romantic relationship or when you are married, please!
These are most common ones.
Do you understand? Are you sure you understand?
Okay, I hope you understand.