There have been a lot of arguments, opinions, and schools of thoughts about and on masturbation. So many are in support of it, while so many others are against it. What do you think? Okay, let allow you to read a bit about it.
What is Masturbation?
Masturbation is stimulating, touching, rubbing, fondling, massaging, stroking, or pressing one’s own genitals with fingers or hands, against an object or surface, for sexual arousal, sexual pleasure, to reach orgasm, or satisfy sexual urge. I am in support of one particular type of masturbation, “mutual masturbation foreplay”, ONLY.
It is a type of foreplay for married couples.
This type of masturbation is not done on self, but on a partner; not with the aim of making one’s partner reach orgasm, but to cause sexual arousal/excitement, in order to prepare the body and mind for a blessed and sweet marital sexual intercourse.
Apart from oral and anal sex, this is one of the sexual activities unmarried young people engage in for pleasure; in order to prevent unwanted pregnancy or preserve their virginity.
Let it me start it this way;
Did You Know?
• Semen produced by sexual intercourse is different from semen produced by masturbation.
• Semen produced by masturbation is not as healthy and potent as semen produced by sexual intercourse.
The body seems to respond differently in these two occasions.
According to Tobias S. köhler, MD, MPH, an associate professor at Southern Illinois University School of Medicine in Springfield; “It appears that not all orgasms are created equally.”
This is to tell you that, naturally, it is healthier to have sex than to masturbate.
And, having sex is meant for married couples (never forget this).
To add to this, in case you ask; I am not a fan of men’s production rooms for semen collection (UK) or masturbatoriums (US): but we are all free to like what we like and dislike what we don’t like.
That is why there are seminal collection devices, SCDs.
Why Do People Masturbate?
People masturbate for different reasons, but these are under two main reasons:
1. Curiosity.
2. Sexual urge (when horny).
Curiosity
* They want to try what they were told; especially, by friends (teenagers).
That is peer pressure.
* What would touching myself (females) or jerking off (males) feel like?
* “This feels good, let me keep going.” And it ends in a feel-good orgasmic sensation.
Sexual Arousal/Excitement
Relieving sexual tension (satisfying their sexual urge), especially, after being to a place that is heavily saturated with SEXUAL ENTICEMENT and ACTIVITIES.
Lusting/fantasizing about someone one finds sexually appealing (sexy). I personally don’t and will never use that word for (to describe) ANYBODY; it is only meant for my wife.
After being in contact with sexually stimulating materials, eg. watching, viewing, or reading erotic and highly sensual video, movie, TV show, pictures, or write-up/stories, etc. Eg. Pornography and erotica.
For perverts and sexually sick people who objectify people, reducing them to objects of sexual pleasure and gratification.
These are the typical reasons people masturbate.
As fun as masturbation may be, it is quite dangerous, deadly, and destructive, and the scariest part is, it is very addictive!
Even if/when medical and psychological experts; sexual health experts/educators, sexuality education experts/educators, sexologists, psychotherapists, psychologists, etc ADVISE you to TRY MASTURBATING “at least once or once in a while, to understand your body and know what works for you; so that you would be able to communicate how you enjoy sex with your spouse”…bla bla bla; PLEASE DON’T!!
Why? Because, it is a trap!
You may enjoy it so much that you start doing it secretly and consistently – and that is a problem.
Let me also make this clear, masturbation can only be done out of curiosity about once or twice, and mostly as an early teenager (13 or 14). After that, it is simply because one is sexually aroused.
And just like having anal sex, doing drugs, sleeping around, etc; masturbating can actually be fun, but the so-called fun is nothing compared to the dangers it poses and the disadvantages it has.
Addiction
There are too many people around the world desperately seeking for help because they have been messed up by masturbation.
It is all fun until this stage.
The pleasure involved makes one want to do it again and again; then it becomes a habit, and eventually ends up being an addiction.
Some people can not stop masturbating, they have countless unsuccessful attempts to stop it, but cannot.
Some people are engage in compulsive masturbation. They no longer have the ability to suppress the urge to masturbate, and always compulsively engage in the act.
That is extremely bad. At this point, the person urgently needs serious help.
The Feeling of Guilt
When masturbation starts becomes a regular activity, there is always a feeling of guilt immediately after the act.
This is because it doesn’t feel right, and this feeling is because it is not right.
A chronic masturbator would be like: “Oh, not again! How do I stop this?”
This is because of VALUES; religious, spiritual, cultural, and social values.
The addict against his/her values.
People addicted to masturbation find themselves engaging in the act that they seriously can’t stop themselves from doing. It is terrible!
And when the deed is done, they always feel terrible, disgusted, and guilty.
Marital Sex Problem
Imagine a married person (who is sexually active with their partner) walking in on their spouse masturbating; Imagine the shock.
When a person is addicted to masturbation gets married, just like pornography, it could be very problematic. There is a pretty high chance that he/she would have a problem having a healthy sex life with his/her spouse – unless help comes.
Why? Because it would either become a substitute for sexual intimacy with his/her partner, especially for a woman; because, women are more complex to satisfy sexually than men.
Men are just a number of strokes away from orgasm, but women require more patience and skill(s).
It might also damage trust when the partner finds out about it; the partner may think and feel his/her partner must be secretive and maybe/probably has other secrets kept from him/her.
When the issue of sexual satisfaction is not discussed by spouses, it could really become a problem.
When a husband/wife finds out that his/her wife/husband masturbates, it makes him/her feel INCOMPETENT, worried, unhappy, stressed, scared (of what could happen to their sex life or maybe he/she might end up cheating on him/her with someone who he/she thinks can satisfy him/her.
In fact, an addict to enjoy marital sex, because, he (especially, she) would not be satisfied.
Even when the man ejaculates, he would still find time to do it behind the wife’s back.
Worse still, a woman may have situational anorgasmia just because she prefers masturbation to actual sex.
By this I mean, actual sex, no matter how hard the man tries, he would not make her orgasm, until she masturbates, whether with her fingers, cucumber, dildo, or vibrator. It is crazy!
NB: Nothing bruises a responsible man’s ego like realizing he doesn’t satisfy his wife sexually; it lowers his self-esteem.
Masturbation should never be an option. Actually, some couples masturbate with each other, but I call it a rough play, because, it almost always ends up with dependence on masturbation for one the partners.
No matter who gives you reasons to masturbate, let them know you have better options with no dangers.
* If they say it is to lower your stress level, tell them sleep, exercise, improved nutrition, etc lower stress level.
* If they bring up good vaginal health, tell them fresh vegetables, citrus fruits, kiwifruit, strawberries, green and red peppers, etc can do that.
* If they talk about quelling cramps by releasing body natural pain relievers like dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins; tell them exercises, good nutrition, meditation, happy memories, etc can equally handle that.
I will not share myths with you, but, the genitals become really sore after too much masturbation, and yes, it would get back to normalcy, but it is not advisable to always stress your genitals unnaturally in the name of masturbation or self-pleasuring.
For Men/Boys
* Too much tight gripping of the penis can cause deceased sensation.
* It may cause penile edema.
* It may cause peyronie’s disease.
For Women/Girls
*It can lead to painful swellings and complications.
*Extreme genital irritation from too much friction.
* You eventually condition yourself to be reach orgasm only by masturbating.
For Both Genders
* Extreme genital irritation from too much friction.
* You program your brain to too much fantasies, and this affects relationships terribly.
* It can affect one’s self-esteem badly.
Masturbation is a slow deadly poison, but the good news is, it has an antidote.
Finally, if you or anyone you know is a masturbation addict, seek for help immediately.