A lot of people say they want a good babe with “ashawo (Nigerians pidgin for prostitute) vibes”.
Some say they want a good guy with “a touch of bad boy”.
So many Christians say they want a God-fearing husband or wife that is “bad” in the bedroom.
The question now is, what do you mean by “bad”?
Someone that would do “naughty” stuff to you in the bedroom, right?
Let me simplify it; you’re implying that you want light with a touch of darkness.
How possible is that? Impossible!
It is either light or darkness; a demon can pretend to be good, that doesn’t make the demon good.
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A lot of people carry (or plan to carry) lustful fantasies (LUST) into marriage.
You want him/her to do you like some pornstar, actor, a former sex partner, or person you saw (probably) when you were in the world, and you want to replicate that/bring those fantasies to reality when you “have the opportunity” (get married).
Sometimes, it is not wrong to do it, the action may not necessarily be sinful, but the motive/the thought behind it makes it “lust”. (sin).
This becomes self-seeking, instead of the dutiful, beautiful, and genuine love-sharing lovemaking that is supposed to be enjoyed as a couple.
When you become a new being, your life and entire being become new!
Old things, including lustful fantasies and sinful desires are not supposed to be entertained in your life anymore.
….
Sex is not a regular, typical, or very common discussion for most believers (especially in Christian gatherings) because our idea of sex is basically (mostly) flawed and negative.
This is because most Christians learn a lot of things about sex from the world. A lot of people know and understand sex from ungodly way…and from ungodly sources.
Instead of appreciating the fact that God created penis, vagina, and made these two compatible and complementary; instead of focusing on the fact that our bodies and their functions were designed by God, we get distracted and stick with the idea and thought of fornication, adultery, prostitution, sexual immorality, rape, porn, and every other negative situation and application of sexual intercourse.
Most times, we make it look like God is shy or not a big fan of sexual intercourse, when in fact, He made it for us – procreation and pleasure (for the married).
The devil’s taken advantage of this beautiful wonder created by God, because it is tridimensional (has to do with spirit, soul, and body) and causes extreme pleasure (makes people desire more).
He knows that nothing affects the entire being of a person like sex; so he doesn’t joke with sexual immorality.
Most people feel intimidated by the thought of how people would react and think of them, and get scared to discuss sexual intercourse boldly, confidently, and publicly.
We need to come to a place of understanding sex as holy and godly, given to us by God, God’s great plan for us, something we really need to know and understand, and something we share only with that special person (a spouse).
This means seeing sex from Christ’s angle, from God’s perspective – pleasing Him (worshiping Him) by keeping sex sacred.
The devil is very intentional about this subject; he is crazy about it, and it is ruining lives everyday!
Play your part! People are being misled all the time.
This is the reason most people feel uncomfortable talking about sex.
And, so many Christians approach sex, even as married people, the sinful way.
This is what I mean;
When a person wants to have sex “out of lust” – to bring their lustful fantasies to life (even with their partner), it is a sinful approach.
Also, when a person only thinks of himself/herself during sex (as far as they are satisfied, their partner should hustle for their own satisfaction…that mentality), that’s selfishness, which is sin; the dutiful, beautiful, and love-sharing during lovemaking is ignored.
I hope you understand this.