Having a lucrative career is very important, making money is SERIOUSLY IMPORTANT, but having plans for the future, maritally, is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!

IF you truly want to get married, you are in a relationship, or you desire to be in a relationship; check yourself:
1. Are you approachable?
2. Are you flexible?
3. Are you reliable?
4. Are you lovable?

1. BEING APPROACHABLE
How “easy to talk to” are you? Can people be comfortable around you?
Everybody can’t talk to you, of course, you have a standard, but you should know that if you really have marriage in view, you should not build impenetrable walls around you. Attraction can happen anytime, it can happen from any distance; but for love to develop, you must be approachable.
You should start breaking down some unnecessary walls around you, for easier access.

2. BEING FLEXIBLE
How flexible are you? Being flexible is romantic, in case you did not know.
You shouldn’t always want it your way; because, sincerely, you can’t always have it your way. There are times you would need to compromise for peace to reign, or to make your friend/partner happy. Learn to be flexible.
I never said you should stop being yourself, but do not be rigid!
The world itself is flexible.

3. BEING RELIABLE
This is being able to be trusted. You are ready to get married, yes, you are in a relationship, but your partner can’t really rely on you.
Trust issues here and there, you don’t keep your promises, your words can’t be taken seriously, you can’t even trust yourself, because you can just mess up before you realize.
Why would she say yes to a person like this?
Why would he want to propose to this kind of person?

4. BEING LOVABLE
Now go to the mirror, check yourself, and tell yourself the truth; do you love yourself? This is not about LOVE ME THE WAY I AM.
Be sincere, would you want to be with YOURSELF, if you were another person seeing YOU from a distance?
Forget money for a moment, everybody is beautifully created, don’t carry yourself as though your condition is the worst.
Carry yourself well, take good care of yourself according to your ability, carry yourself with confidence and be happy!

Happiness is free, taking care of oneself is affordable, everyone can afford it.

A sweet and healthy relationship awaits you, and I am sure you will look good in a happy marriage.

The post Are You Marriable? appeared first on Ny Eakin.

You did nothing wrong for not loving them back. It is just unfortunate, but it is not your fault; that’s life for you.

You are only wrong if you knowingly lead a person on, when you know you have no feelings for them.

So, stop being too sweet to a person that you make them start having ideas.

There should be a limit to your “sweetness”; endeavour to improve/work on your emotional intelligence…and actually, use your common sense!

You don’t have to explain why you don’t love a person back, you don’t have to explain why you don’t feel anything for a person; it is unnecessary!

Not everyone can continue being friends with you when you tell them you don’t feel anything for them. In fact, very few can continue being your friend for real.

They are not fools and it doesn’t mean they have any ulterior motive; but it is extremely rare.

If a person stops being friends with you because you don’t reciprocate their feelings for you, let them be; that is the only way some people can heal and move on.

They don’t need to explain their decision to you; you’re not entitled to any explanation from them.

Don’t love out of pity; if you do, you’d eventually be pitied.

That is pure pity and not love.

It is very dangerous!

If A doesn’t love B the way B loves A, it is unwise for A to want to compensate B with a “pity love”. With time, A would eventually start being unable to continue pretending. The pity may (very likely) eventually become resentment, and the relationship would become toxic.

A person could like you very much, could love you deeply, but not attracted to you romantically.

Not every “love” is romantic love.

Also, when a person you trust with sensitive details about your life doesn’t (always) let you in on sensitive details about their life, it means they don’t regard you highly, they don’t trust you, and/or you are not as important to them as you thought.

Know your place, respect yourself, and move on with your life.

There are hundreds of millions of people who would make you feel special.

The post You Should Know These appeared first on Ny Eakin.

A person can be friendly and not be a friend. An enemy can be friendly, too.
And, a person may not look like you would want to call a friend, but actually be a friend.
Remember, you shouldn’t judge a book by the cover.

The enemy of your enemy is not your friend, at least, in this context.
One doesn’t like the person you dislike (for reasons best known to you); that is not a problem, but, don’t forget that you are only co-enemies; it does not make you friends.

Your church members, classmates, colleagues, course mates, schoolmates, employees, employers, or roommates, are not necessarily or automatically your friends. The fact that they are friendly and cool with you doesn’t make them your friends; you are only acquaintances.

So, who is a friend?

1. A true friend would not befriend you for benefits, but having them is a benefit.

2. A true friend is someone you vibe with freely and genuinely.

3. A true friend understands you.

4. A true friend is someone who knows and accepts you for who you are.

5. A true friend is your number one critic, fan, and supporter; criticizes you, corrects you, helps you grow, believes in you, hypes you, would always vouch for you (where necessary); but tells you the truth, whether sweet or bitter.

6. A true friend is a person who covers you up in public, and points your mistakes out to you in secret.

7. A true friend doesn’t care whether you reach out first or not; they believe you would reach out if you could, and would not hold it against you.

8. A true friend would not hesitate to carefully step on your toes, with love, for the greater good.

9. A true friend would be annoying, and still looks out for your best interests.

10. A true friend would sacrifice (if necessary and possible) for love, without holding back.

11. A true friend tells you what it is, and how it is.

12. A true friend is an open book, they tell you their mind.

13. A true friend can change if seriously unappreciated and taken for granted, but could still come around if approached properly.

14. A true friend does not take advantage of your vulnerability.

NOTE: Things happen, people are different, people are not the same, people change and can become unpredictable.

A true friend is also a human being, he/she has emotions.

A true friend should be appreciated, treasured, and cherished.

You don’t need to be a true friend to everyone, it is impossible.

But, are you a true friend to anyone?

The post Who is a True Friend? appeared first on Ny Eakin.

*If you want to be in a relationship with her, you let her know.
*If you like him, too, and agree to make the relationship happen; you let him know.
*When you propose, there must be complete communication (this is what every relationship needs).

You ask, she hears and understands, and then says yes – sending, receiving, feedback. This means, communication plays a great role in building a relationship.
Also, when you eventually get into the relationship/marriage;
*If the alarm is too loud, and disturbs you whenever it rings; let him know.
*If you don’t like too much pepper in your food, let her know.
*If you like black coffee, without cream, let me know.
*If I love the way you wake me every morning, I should let you know.

This means, (effective and complete) communication keeps a relationship going.

According to The New Lexicon Webster’s Dictionary of The English Language (Encyclopedic Edition), communication is a sending, giving or exchanging of information, ideas, etc.).
You give your thoughts, ideas, opinions, etc.
You express your feelings to a person, and the person RESPONDS (in words or actions) – that is communication!!

A complete communication happens when one sends, the other receives, and then gives feedback. THAT IS WHAT EVERY RELATIONSHIP NEEDS!

When you start feeling that your partner SHOULD know what you like, when you have not told him/her, you have not ensured CLARITY; you begin killing yourself slowly and silently, and you start damaging the relationship.

People (even identical twins) are different, and being compatible does not, cannot, and will never make you THE SAME. You have likes and dislikes, everyone has what they like and dislike, too.
Maybe you don’t like the way she does this, and you don’t like the way he does that…just TALK to her/him.
There is always room for adjustment, and you must adjust to accommodate your partner.
And to adjust, to accommodate your partner, you must let them know what you like, dislike, want, plan; and you must listen to theirs, too, if the relationship must work.

You need communication!!
You want to get married, but you are still procrastinating; please, go talk to her.
Let’s not stereotype this, go talk to him.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a lady asking a gentleman for a relationship or friendship.
Tell him you are interested or you are not interested.
Stop keeping her on hold; stop keeping him on hold.
Just so you know, he may start noticing one very beautiful sister out there already.
She could even be giving him attention and good vibes.
She might meet a prince charming that would sweep her off her feet, even sooner than you could think.
So, it would really hurt you to see someone you really care about being taken by another person right before you…because you failed to communicate your feelings and your plans to her.

If you are interested, let them know. If you are not, allow them to go somewhere else. Avoid unnecessary delay, feelings change.
Always remember that there is no healthy relationship (starting it and keeping it) without effective and complete communication.

Am I communicating?

The post Communication and Relationships appeared first on Ny Eakin.

Sometimes, they would laugh about it.

She said they would talk about how ladies in hip-hop usually have big buttucks and breasts, and how their appearance was part of their brands.

They didn’t take it seriously, they were “just observing and thinking out loud”, I presume; but they did not know what it did to her.

She took it very seriously, used to think deeply about it, and eventually decided to fix her body.

Please note: this didn’t make her hate them, but it made her to make a life-changing decision.

I am not saying she regrets what she did, neither am I saying she does not – I don’t know.

But I am pointing out the fact that our comments on people’s body can be very powerful that they get to them terribly.

Body shaming comes in different ways and styles; some of you still body shame, but you think it is funny or not a big deal.

It is a big deal!

Sometimes we body shame without realizing it.

Some comments about a person’s body could be inappropriate, while some are outrightly negative and derogatory.

Some people are very sensitive, some other people may take it more seriously than you think you know.

There are things you should never say to people; there are things that can’t be changed easily or at all.

Stop subtly telling people that they are too short, too fair, too fat, too tall, not dark, etc.

This messes with people’s self-esteem in different ways and degrees.

A person likes you, and you don’t like them back; but all you can say is: “You are too short for my liking.”

If you don’t like him the way he is, let him go; stop making him feel like he is not good enough.

If she is not the way you want your “ideal” woman or friend to be, move on without making feel bad about herself.

“You would be cuter if you were a bit shorter.”

“Your stomach is too big, as if you are always pregnant .”

“Your head is too big, don’t you eat well?”

“What kind of face is this, is this one a human being?”

And many others.

These and many other comments are very unnecessary and offensive.

Be empathetic and sensitive.

It is okay to describe a person as they are, it is okay to politely give advice or information that could help a person get better and healthy; but it is not okay to seriously, “jokingly”, or “playfully” make a negative, derogatory, or inappropriate remark about a person.

Sometimes we do these innocently, but they (these remarks) are dangerous to the person.

It always leaves an impression.

Even when a person tells you they are used to it, it is not cool!

We can do better.

I hope you understand.

The post Body Shaming appeared first on Ny Eakin.

* All men are liars.

* All men cheat.

* All men are manipulators.

* All men are the same.

Take note of men who claim:

* That women have nothing to offer (than sex).

Actually, sex is not offered; it is an act done by two people. Both “offers” themselves to each other.

* That women only care about your money (some of these men don’t even know how having money feels like).

* Or imply that women should be controlled like puppets or toys. i.e. always doing what men want them to do, without having their own say. It is never meant to be that way, it is wrong!

* That all women are the same.

NB: These are just few; there are other ridiculous and misleading opinions (I’m sure you can add more).

Do you all you can to avoid being involved (in a relationship) with these people; they are not ready to be in a healthy relationship. They have to work on themselves first; because if they don’t, people with good intentions would be hurt.

If you are like this, you need to be fixed, because you are not ready to be in a healthy relationship.

I hope you understand.

The post Read This and Take Note appeared first on Ny Eakin.

Many years ago, I chose and determined to remain celibate until marriage, it is not the easiest kind of life to live, but God always helps me.

People have told me that the things I post here are mostly “easier said than done”, and I tell them I am living it, there are so many other people who are living it, and that means it is not impossible for many more people reading my posts to practice and live it as well.

I know there are a lot of hypocrites in the world, especially on social media today; so many of them have made you start doubting and even stop believing the truth, but come to think of it, why would someone’s or some people’s misbehaviour and hypocrisy make you stop doing the right thing(s)?

Well, trust me, there are still people who practice what they preach, and there are more than a billion (very) good and morally upright people all over the world today.

Even at that, they should not be the yardstick for measuring morality and Christianity – because so many more people are still going to disappoint you!

Look up to Jesus Christ!

Remember your value system from home, remember that there is black and there is white, remember that there is moral and immoral, remember that there is good and evil, then choose what you know (not what you feel like) is right, because at the end of the day, it is a matter of choice; neither God nor evil forces will choose for you.

You don’t purposely mess up and blame the devil. The devil did not ask you to always allow a girl in your room late in the night; don’t you know you are a sexual being? Your bodies will always move! Nigerians would say: “Body no be firewood”.

You can’t be allowing sexual stimulation and relations from a guy or a lady, and expect not to be sexually turned on. Are you playing? If you are, then you must be unwise enough to be playing with fire.

Especially those ladies that claim the brother is “nice” and “godly”, so nothing can happen.

And those brothers that claim the sister is on fire…okay!!

So you have to be with her in her vulnerable state and expect her or you to remain as non-living things. You’ll be shocked! It may not be planned, but our bodies always respond to any form of stimulation, especially sexual stimulation!!

The most common victims are campus fellowship members, youth fellowship members, instrumentalists, and choristers (here is where you have music ministers).

These ones are the ones topping the list.

Even with the speaking in tongues, if they are naive enough to allow you in and be with you in a compromising time of the day, in a compromising situation, and in a compromising position; they would make something happen directly or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally (there is a point of sexual arousal you get to that is almost impossible to go back – there is no going back!)

I have been there more than say seven or eight times, excluding the situations where some ladies have directly asked me to have sex with them, that they’d give me any style I desire and more.

Only God and my vow to Him have helped me so far; because, in some special occasions, even your “determination” to remain sexually pure or celibate would fly away through the nearest exit.

Yes, it can be that crazy!

So what do you do?

When you see sexual immorality, sexual temptation, sexual sin, or anything that looks like it on road A, quickly change direction and use road B. It comes very fast, without you thinking.

That’s the only way you can win this battle, trust me.

I’m emphasizing on sexual sin because that’s what the post is really about.

You can’t win this by depending on your might, your power, or even your “anointing”.

Someone told me that some people’s sexual urge, desire, or libido is way stronger than others.

Of course, I know that; I perfectly understand that because I am that “some people”; it is crazy, but I am doing quite fine, so can you…if you want.

• You are looking for the latest leaked sex tape of a celebrity, what do you want to do with it? Do you want to score it?

• You are always asking for movies or series with the most, wildest, and most realistic sex scenes, for what exactly? Is that even normal?

• You know all the pornstars, the best young ones, the best older ones, the best black, latino, white, and even their production companies.

• You know different telegram and WhatsApp porn groups and those with different 18+ (they call it “adult”) contents, etc. And you think you’d remain normal?

No, sir/ma’am!

When you open your eyes and ears by watching the aforementioned, the spirit of lust and sexual immorality gradually weakens your spiritual defenses; it doesn’t matter who you are and it doesn’t which position you occupy in church/fellowship.

It doesn’t matter your level of anointing, you you open yourself to these things, they’d gradually weaken until you are totally defenseless.

You should know that the devil and demons are patient enough for any task they have. Well, I don’t want to go spiritual with this post.

I am not telling you it is easy, it is not.

It is a battle, it is hard, but with God, all things are possible.

Your determination, decision, choice, and vow need His grace.

The good news is, His grace is always sufficient.

Let me stop here by telling you these:

* It’s been 20 years (since 2003) I purposely made a vow to God to remain celibate until marriage; He’s always faithful. I have come extremely close to breaking it, but, it never happened. Glory to God!

* I, Ny, am being helped by God daily; I can’t do it without Him. Every believer lives by His grace on daily basis.

* You can be morally upright and sexually pure if you really want, it’s mainly about discipline and self-control, then backed up by the grace of God, and guaranteed by the leadership of the Holy Spirit; because there are things, activities, people, and places you need to avoid if you really want to be sexually moral, and the Holy Spirit has a very important and necessary part to play in guiding you.

* Humanly speaking, it is extremely difficult and almost impossible. But, God’s grace fuels our discipline, self-control, and determination to be sexually moral.

* God sees clearly and knows what you do in secret; so, do not be a hypocrite.

Actually, nobody may know who you truly are.

Nobody will beat you.

But, somehow, the truth always prevails. But, even if it doesn’t; it is good, better, and best to be good.

I really hope you understand.

The post I Will Always Tell You The Truth appeared first on Ny Eakin.

1. If you are a person’s friend, let them know what is not “okay” about them (something they can change/work on).
If you are not able to talk about sensitive issues or have those difficult conversations with your friend (not acquaintance); you are not a true friend.

Be tactful and polite in conveying the message, but be totally truthful and sincere.

2. If you always have to remind a “friend” how to communicate with you, then they are not your friend.

If you are this person, then you are not a friend. It is that simple!

No hard feeling, but you have to let this “friend” be; let them go. It’s difficult to accept, but you’re not as important to them as you think.

You’re just not that person for them.

3. If you are poor at communicating, you’ll never have a healthy relationship.

If you can’t call, text, or express your feelings properly; learn it now!

You are not the calling type, yeah?

It means you are not ready for a real relationship.

Even if one person keeps on calling and texting, they’d get tired and leave for good.

The post Know These About Communication appeared first on Ny Eakin.

Merely being a virgin or celibate doesn’t automatically mean one is practicing sexual purity.

In fact, so many virgins are not sexually pure, because they (the ones I am talking about) have done a lot of “sexual things” apart from having actual penile-vaginal intercourse – SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.

As far as you have never had sex, you are a virgin; but as long as (if) you are making out, sucking, licking, fondling, giving head, being eaten out, kissing, cuddling, grinding (giver/receiver), dry humping, giving/being given lap dance, watching sex tapes, watching porn, touching a person (your girlfriend, boyfriend, fiancé, fiancée, or anybody at all) in a sexual way or giving consent to be touched in a sexual way, masturbating, and/or doing anything that can cause sexual arousal to yourself or another person; you are sexually impure.

It is not easy to practice, right?

The Lord is your strength.

But the Lord will not be your strength if you are not seriously intentional about being sexually pure.

When you are really ready, God will give you the grace to practice it.

It starts from your decision.

I hope you understand.

The post Virgin, Celibate, or Sexually Pure? appeared first on Ny Eakin.

Amara is from a good Christian home; she is what you people call “fire-branded”.

She is a genuine child of God, a born again Christian; I am not talking about a pretender.

But something terrible happened, she gets lured when she got into school; she started clubbing, she started partying hard, and she became sexually loose.

She became so sexually active: perversive, a stripper and an escort (an elite escort).

Why? Because she was influenced by evil association!

Few weeks from now will be Valentine’s day, and so many singles are desperately open to relationship proposals.

You see every nice person as a potential partner; small “hi”, you are already fantasizing being on a romantic date and cuddled up.

What if that your crush or that sweet-looking is demon-possessed, oppressed, or has a demonic connection/covering?

Yes, you like that babe/guy, but have you even tried to be prayerful about any possible “thing” that could happen between you two?

Have you handed that feeling of yours into God’s hands?

Have you said: “Dear Lord, this babe is hot oh! What do you think? Is she good for me? Am I good for her? Should I pursue?”

Know this today, if you get involved with or associate romantically with someone who has a demonic connection or link, you’d certainly attract that spirit.

This is not religious, this is reality (that has and will always elude most people).

You start seeing it like a mere “copying”, “giving same energy”, or “doing it the way it is done”, but it is way deeper and more serious than that.

Samson fell and became vulnerable.

Solomon of all people, the wisest man to ever live also fell and became vulnerable; he became weak and a prey.

They associated with evil women (partners); emphasis on partners.

No matter how “fire-branded” you think you are, it would be foolish for you to go to a strip club.

You can never go there, spend time there, and come back without “fighting spiritually” with the spirits in that environment.

In fact, you’d be affected to an extent, until you leave there…even when you are gone from there, you’d still be in a spiritual battle with the spirits you encountered there.

Remember, 1 Cor. 15: 33-34″ Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character…” Complete it (go and read it).

Also, 2 Cor. 6:14-18: “Be ye not unequally yokef together with unbelievers…”

Complete it yourself.

There are people who are not covered or afflicted by demons, but are still not good for you at all, because you have different spirits (spirit has different meanings), attitudes, desires, visions, and values.

You do not need to be “friends” with every person you find attractive.

You don’t have to be in a relationship with everybody; no matter how friendly, sweet, caring they seem or actually are.

Be picky, be selective, be prayerful, be spiritually attentive, be polite, and be careful.

If you are single, don’t be too desperate, lest you fall victim of evil association/companionship.

There are a lot of ladies and men who can quote the scriptures fluently, but are scam, fraud, and fake.

I pray that the eyes of your understanding be enlightened!

There are things you really can’t control…

You can never control how tied your soul is to another person’s after having sex with them.

It is called soul ties.

This is the main reason a person would leave their spouse for their ex or former sex partner.

This is why people still strongly desire their previous sexual partners.

You enjoy the sex, but your souls are tied spiritually (whether you believe it or not).

This is why you should not sleep around; everybody has a spirit, covenant, spiritual covering (divine or demonic), etc.

This is called transference of spirits.

Everybody you have sex with gets a part of your spiritual components, you also get a part of theirs.

When there is sexual intercourse or sexual relation, there is an exchange of spiritual traits, and there is an establishment of spiritual and emotional bond.

The post Evil Communications Corrupt Good Manners appeared first on Ny Eakin.