Every time I look at my parents, I see true love. They are my number one example, that’s why I am proud to use them as reference here.
For real, even in healthy relationships, true love is a lot!
Relationship/marriage is work!
I have seen my parents in their lowest, I have seen them in their weakest, I have seen them in their most vulnerable state, I have seen when it is obvious that they only have God and their children, and I have seen them in very good times.
Sometimes things get so inundating that I break down and sometimes cry myself to sleep, because of how tough things are.
Sometimes things go very smoothly and well, so exciting, beautiful, lovely, and sweet that I wish these moments would last forever.
But you know life; it is full of ups and downs.
This is what “for better for worse” means; sadly, so many people are not truly ready for this!
So many people end relationships and marriages because they do not “feel that spark” or “excitement” again. Some say they “feel disconnected”.
The truth is, when you are in a relationship or marriage, you can’t feel the spark, excitement, or connection every single minute.
You are human beings, at times your moods or situations could make you numb to these feelings (of spark, excitement, and butterflies).
When you understand this, you’d know that having a partner who has your back, a partner who is always available and willing to support you, cheer you up, encourage you, advice you, show up for you, fight for you, someone who decides to stick with you no matter the situation, etc. is a priceless luxury, a huge blessing!
This is because, love, friendship, values, and purpose aside, relationship and marriage are really about willingness, decision, and commitment.
Do not build or settle down with anybody just because the future is bright.
Build/settle down with them because: your values and purposes align, you share basic similarities, you are compatible, because you love and respect each other enough to be willing to commit to each other; and (both of you) can handle your ‘ugly’ sides.
If these are not the reason you want to build with a person, do not build!
What if the future is not as you expected?
What happens when the struggle becomes tougher than you anticipated?
Have you decided to stay no matter what happens?
Are you willing to put in the required work to make your relationship work?
There will be ups and downs; you will not always feel ‘in love’.
Love would not always be rosy; love is a lot, love is responsibility, love is compromise, love is contentment, love is respect, love is adjustment, love is commitment, love is respect, love is a choice, love is accommodation, love is willingness, and love is a decision.
Love (alone) is never enough; every relationship needs more than love to be healthy.