I have been privileged and blessed with the gift of real and true friends.

By God’s grace, I have been able to maintain friendships of 25, 18, 13, and 7 years, so I can boldly say I understand how this works.

I know you have friends, but how true are they to you?

How true are you to them?

How true are you to yourselves?

Why are you friends?

Apart from a very few of them, even the Facebook “friends” you have are really not your friends.

If you want to be someone’s “friend” solely BECAUSE of the gains or benefits, I’m sorry, that is not true friendship, you are not a true friend; that is human networking or connection.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH having this; but don’t call them FRIENDS, they are not your FRIENDS, they are your business partners or acquaintances.

You are really someone’s friend BECAUSE you like them genuinely, flow and bond well, very affectionately, and smoothly with them, without particularly having any benefit or selfish interest in mind.

You can and should encourage and support your friends, in order to bring out the best in them.

A lot of people go about friendship wrongly, that’s why they experience disappointment in their expectations, and when this happens, the true nature of their connection/the reason for their supposed friendship is revealed.

Those people who were friended because they were expected to meet a particular standard become victims of “fake friends”, while those who are the “fake friends” leave as soon as they realize that there is no special benefit for them.

This idea of friendship is really messed up.

They come up with the excuses that those people they called friends (who really weren’t, because they placed expectations on their relationship) were not able to offer anything, so weren’t in their league. There are a lot of cases like this.

Don’t get me wrongly, of course you would naturally expect your friend(s) to treat you the way you treat them, that is natural, right, and unselfish. If this is not the case, then they are not your friend(s).

You should expect your friends to keep growing and getting better according to their capacity and capability; that is very good, very healthy.

True friendship has benefits, too. Wonderful and unimaginable ones!!

A friend in need (true friends always turn up and show up when need be, they always support themselves whenever and however they can – no matter how small the support may seem; this is a good example of “nothing is too small”) is a friend indeed (that is true friendship, that is what real friends do for themselves).

NOTE: You could be friendly or even friends with your business partner or colleague, but, ordinarily and typically, they are not your friends.

Musicians have true friends who are not musicians, athletes have real friends who are not athletes, actors, businesspersons, engineers, doctors, pastors, teachers, psychologists, bankers, lawyers, music producers, web desingers, students, etc.

You may or many not have a true friend in your field or industry.

Most times, the “friend” you have in your field/industry is only your “friend” because of one or all of these:

1. They can relate with you.

2. You are good at what you do, they want to tag along.

3. You can/do help them somehow, professionally

4. You are available.

Please, I’m not saying you should start thinking they don’t mean well, I’m only stating facts.

If you want to be close to a person because of the gains and benefits you want to enjoy, or because of the opportunities you see and want to explore; you are really not their friend, that is not real friendship.

Friendship is not driven by self-interest, egocentricity, gains and profits, it is driven by love, care, connection, and unselfishness.

Also, true friends always have the capacity to adapt to changes, they always understand, support, accept, and correct you.

If you have any true friend, try your best not to ruin that relationship.